A manager comes out of a meeting with a clear decision. He then attends the next meeting and comes out with a changed mind and a new decision. Is this second decision really a decision? No. What he had after the first meeting was an opinion. After the second meeting, he had a different opinion. He had yet to make a decision.

A decision is not an opinion. It’s not a wish. It’s not your current stand on an issue. It’s not a group conclusion. Nope, a decision is not really a decision until it paves the way for action. To do that, you must have:

• clear decision criteria embraced by those essential to the success of the decision
• a number of distinct alternatives to be sure you opened your mind to possibilities and didn’t just grab the easiest or most familiar path
• the choice of an alternative that clearly meets the decision criteria and has manageable risks
• commitment from those whose support is essential to the success of the decision
• assignment of accountabilities, authority, and resources so that someone is in a position to take the next steps that turn a wish into results

Until you have these five components, you don’t really have a decision. You only have an idea of what you would like to do.

The Changing Opinion

The manager with the changing opinions was undoubtedly missing #1 above. I guarantee he either did not have concrete decision criteria in mind before his meetings or those criteria changed during the second meeting. You must gain agreement on decision criteria before you try to choose an alternative. Those in a position to ensure a smart decision should inform your list. Those in a position to ensure the success of your decision should embrace the list.

An Executive Decision

The executive team makes a decision. They all agree and are confident they have picked a great alternative. Or at least they think so. But it’s not really a decision because part of the team doesn’t like the decision, can’t get behind it, or can’t explain it adequately. the miscreants may even be heard making comments beyond the executive team that undermine the decision.

In this case, the team is missing #4 above. And I guarantee they don’t really have #1-3 either. When you follow a disciplined process that starts with ensuring your team embraces the decision criteria, the completeness of the list of alternatives, and the assessment of alternatives against those criteria and any risks, there is no reason you can’t achieve strong backing for the chosen alternative. Don’t let critical people nod passively while something about those first three steps is leaving them feeling uncomfortable.

The Exhausted Group

A group makes a decision during a long and tedious meeting. Or at least they decide they are done. But it’s not really a decision because it was made out of exhaustion. Instead of completing #1-3 above in a clear, step-wise fashion, I bet they jumbled all three together in a kitchen sink conversation that went in circles until everyone was desperate to finish. If they hold to their ‘decision,’ people will be unhappy. Once the group’s energy returns, they should address #1-3 in order and with discipline.

Fear of Resistance

A team makes a tough decision. But it’s not really a decision because they made it out of fear. They were more worried about avoiding resistance than making a good decision. Thus, they lack #4. It is far easier to feel committed to a decision that you believe will make a positive difference than a decision that is uninspiring and made in fear.

To avoid fear-driven decisions, you need to involve the people you fear in the process of establishing the decision criteria. “This is the decision we need to make and these are the criteria we think should guide this decision. What do you think we might be missing or underemphasizing?” Asking this question will help you make a more informed choice. In addition, it will help others understand what you are trying to achieve and increase the likelihood that they support your decision.

You may also want input on the alternatives you are considering. “These are the alternatives we are considering. Can you think of any important ones that we are missing? Where do you see cause for concern or significant room for error?”

Once you achieve reasonable buy-in at either of these levels, you will be better informed. On top of that, you will find it far easier to explain your final decision because it is rooted in shared decision criteria and a better understanding of the options and risks.

Great Decisions that Fail

You make a great decision. But nothing happens. That means it wasn’t really a decision. The difference between a wish and a decision is often #5. You don’t have the ownership and support lined up behind it. No one is positioned to take responsibility or in a position to do so effectively. You’ve got no one in charge, the wrong person in charge, or inadequate time and resources available to that person to transform your concrete intentions into concrete action.

I was once in charge of developing a cool new cutting-edge product that would be championed by two divisions of my company. I remember a meeting in Belgium to make high level product design decisions. When these didn’t go the way I thought they should, I asked both parties to explain their strategic plans. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to notice that our great new product wasn’t part of those plans. We either needed to be a top priority or nothing. Anything else would be a failed decision. They balked. I cancelled the project. Decisions require the backing essential to success.

Inspired and Willing

A group of techies eager to improve the way things were done meets under their own volition over the course of several weeks and makes some decisions. But they are not really decisions because no one in the group has the authority to implement the ideas. These techies missed the boat at #1 by not ensuring that people essential to the success of their decisions agreed that these decisions should be made. When they doubled back to sell their ideas, they found their concerns were no where on anyone’s radar and were perceived to be of the lowest possible priority.

Manipulation By Any Other Name

The executive runs the meeting carefully. Her goal is a very important decision. The group is fed background information, priorities, and conclusions couched as alternatives. But it’s not really a decision because the decision has already been made. This is a sham. A carefully orchestrated event to create the illusion of an inclusive decision process. It is manipulation pure and simple. I know. I’ve been in that room. That’s not the way to create commitment. Far better to pay attention to #1-5 and pick the right people to participate each step of the way. Where do you need input? Where do you need agreement? From whom?

• “These are the decision criteria we believe are most important, are we missing anything?”
• “These are the alternatives we are considering. Can you think of others worth investigating?”
• “These are the risks we have thought of that are associated with this alternative, but you know more about this than we do, especially if we begin implementing this. How do you see this playing out? What could go wrong?”

Manipulation by any other name is still manipulation. It will not create commitment. On the contrary! Be transparent. Tackle #1-5 above as distinct steps with discipline. Involve the right people at the right time with specific requests.

The Wishful Thinker

Last, but not least, you make a decision for yourself, perhaps in the middle of the night about exercising more regularly. But it’s not really a decision because it never happens. You, the decider, may be committed, but you, the implementor, is not. You are stuck at #4. Your commitment may suffer due to inadequate attention to #1-3. In particular, you may not have considered the risks associated with your plan to run before dinner everyday. You haven’t realistically considered all the pressures and obstacles that would likely make that next to impossible. Pressures to stay late at work. The pressure exerted by a hungry family. Your own feeling of exhaustion or hunger at that hour. If running before dinner is absolutely the best alternative despite these obstacles, than you likely haven’t gotten to #5. You, the implementor, has yet to develop specific techniques for overcoming the obstacles.

Don’t confuse wishes, ideas, and opinions with decisions. Decisions pave the way for specific and concrete action.

This article first appeared on Forbes, November 30th, 2020