The human experience is paved with failed promises, mistakes, omissions, bad luck, and scary new situations. The consequences range from immediate regret to crippling anxiety. The situations run the gamut from saying something stupid to your supervisor to being asked to speak to a large audience to discovering your new house is threatened by rising seas after signing the papers at closing.

We’ve all experienced it. We’ve all made promises and mistakes. We’ve all neglected to do things painfully obvious with hindsight. We’ve all taken risks, some prudent and some not so prudent. And we’ve all had bad luck. Not one of us is prepared for every eventuality or completely confident in every situation. Not one of us is immune to that sickening, sinking feeling of fear and failure.

Wouldn’t it be great if we could harness regret and fear and bottle them for some positive use? That would be a terrific invention! Unfortunately, we can’t and these negative emotions accomplish nothing. We replay our mistakes and omissions in our minds, making ourselves feel sicker and sicker. Fear is even worse. It hangs over us like a cloud of pain, cripples our thinking, hides our talent, and keeps us awake at night.

Most people are slow to admit their mistakes and even slower to admit their fears. We don’t want people to think we are weak, unstable, stupid, or unable to handle our job or affairs. So we push those fears under the rug and try to ignore them. Meanwhile, they eat away at us, steal our energy, and erode our self-confidence even further. These habits are destructive. Here are some alternatives:

1. Don’t pretend you aren’t afraid. It doesn’t help anyone.

As I already mentioned, few people want to be seen as neurotic worrywarts, so they clam up when faced with an unpleasant or scary situation. But how can you figure out what to do next, if you pretend nothing is wrong? How can you learn to avoid feeling this pain again, if you ignore it?

Clarity is the antidote. When something goes wrong, I am the annoying person who wants to talk about it and figure out what went wrong or where things stand. I want to know why we feel the way we do and what options exist. I may sound like Chicken Little at times, but everyone is relieved when my questions result in logical next steps and a clear understanding of what happened and why it made us feel so miserable. It’s OK to be vulnerable and seek answers. And others will thank you when your efforts provide relief for them as well.

2. You can’t solve a problem without eliminating its cause.

The only way to solve any problem is to eliminate its cause. To eliminate a fear, figure out first what is causing it.

When I founded Uncommon Clarity, Inc. a decade ago, I knew public speaking was a great way to get in front of prospective clients, but the thought of doing it did terrible things to the blood flow to my brain! This was a fear I had to conquer, so I joined Toastmasters. After several months, I figured out the cause – and the cure – for my out-of-control nervousness. The cause: I didn’t want to waste anyone’s time! As the expert in clarity focused on outcomes and efficiency, the thought that I might be wasting someone else’s time was abhorrent to me. The cure: While listening to random speeches, I discovered that almost any topic could be gripping if told well. Fly-fishing was the example that hammered this point home! Second, even when I knew a topic better than the speaker, I could still learn from the speaker’s perspective and appreciate smart reminders. Once I achieved clarity about the cause of my fear and realized how good speeches didn’t feel like a waste of time, I was transformed. Now I find it a great deal of fun to share my most provocative ideas with a live audience and I love doing it!

Figure out what specifically is making you fearful. What makes you feel vulnerable? What are you afraid you can’t do? Why do you think it matters? Find the cause. A lack of information and perspective is a super common source of fear, but you have to figure out what that is and it’s tough to get that information while pretending you aren’t afraid.

3. Consider the worst case scenario.

The failures that you fear and that prevent you from taking action or seizing opportunities are rarely a matter of life and death. Discomfort? Yes. Embarrassment? Probably. Financial pain? Maybe. Serious inconvenience? Possibly. But they aren’t likely to be fatal. When I am fearful, I consciously ‘catastrophize.’ I want clarity. I want to know what’s the worst-case scenario. Suppose the worst case scenario came to pass? I want to know what I might do then.

Specific scenarios, even bad ones, are nowhere near as terrifying as vague, looming fears. Once you get specific about what could go wrong, you will be more able to:

• Think clearly about it.
• Find ways to prevent that scenario from occurring (preventive action).
• Find ways to prepare should the worst come to pass despite your best efforts to avoid it (contingent action).

It is far better to feel realistic and somewhat prepared than paralyzed with vague fears.

Clarity conquers fear and, as a bonus, teaches you to avoid future fear.

Not only does clarity diminish fears, it is also instructive. Sometimes ignoring your fears, crossing your fingers, and waiting for luck works out just fine. However, if you dig in and understand the nature of your fear and why it exists, you are in a far better position to prevent feeling that way again. You will quicker to recognize a recurrence and be better able to cope. Clarity helps you learn and feel more prepared for any eventuality.

Ann Latham is an expert on strategic clarity and author of The Clarity Papers.

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This article first appeared on Forbes, April 8th, 2018.