Do you ever wonder how patient you should be?

I’ve got executive advisory clients who struggle with this question. Some of them are naturally impatient, know they need to work at being more patient, but worry that being too patient sends the wrong message. Do you ever feel that way?

So what can you do? Here is the short answer:

Be patient with people, not with problems.

This is what that looks like.

“We can’t ________ :

• Miss this deadline.”
• Leave this customer with impossible expectations.”
• Abuse employees.”
• Allow this toxic employee to continue to spread rumors.”
• Have a manager who continually refuses to deal with problems.”

You fill in the blank with any bad situation that must change.

But when you turn to the person whose behavior must change, your tone and technique must be different.

• Do you understand what you are doing that is a problem?
• Do you understand why it is a problem?
• Why is this hard?
• How can I help you?
• What have you tried?
• How are you thinking about this?
• We have to resolve this by ______. What will it take?
• Do you need assistance or ideas?
• Is there something I can do to support you?

Just keep in mind that as long as you employ somebody, you and that employee are partners. You work for the same company. You are on the same team. The only fair and effective way to deal with underperformance is to problem-solve together.

If a person is in a position where he or she can’t succeed, it is as much your problem as theirs. Ensuring a good fit between people and positions is the job of management. Keeping a person in a position where they can’t succeed does no one any favors. But until it becomes obvious that the best option is to part ways, preferably obvious to both of you, they deserve your patience.

Be impatient for important results, but patiently help employees achieve them.