I just bought a car that flies in the face of the advice I’ve received from lots of my most successful colleagues. I can’t even name the fancy brands I “should” have been considering in order to impress people. And this has got me thinking about my own brand. Brand matters! Absolutely! But…
Every few weeks McKinsey tries to sell me a packet of materials to improve my meetings. These guys are big and ubiquitous. If they were really offering a great solution, I don’t think most meetings would still be so awful. I don’t think people would still be complaining constantly about meetings – both too many meetings and unproductive meetings. Especially from all those companies that have hired McKinsey in the past!
When a client finally accepted that the root cause of their many struggles was that they keep hiring the wrong people, it was a major breakthrough. What will likely take even longer is for them to realize that they aren’t even qualified to hire the kind of people they really need! “How can we be hiring the wrong people when we hire such great people?” they demanded to know. Every one a top notch subject matter expert just like themselves. People with great experience and knowledge in the field. People who care as much as they do. And people who fit in really well. How could this be a problem? The problem they finally recognized is that by hiring people like themselves, they don’t really have people managers or project managers or product managers or branding experts or…
I frequently facilitate off-site retreats, strategic planning sessions, and other meetings where complex situations require smart decisions that are strongly supported by everyone present. I enjoy it and I’m good at it. Nonetheless, I cringe when people ask me to be their facilitator.
While speaking at the Elevate Leadership Summit in Idaho, I wanted to illustrate how differently we all see things so I relayed a story about the day I brought my future husband home for the very first time. Within about two minutes of walking in the door, he asked for a hammer. He wanted to pound in a protruding nail on our stairway before something or someone got caught on it. He could not not see that nail. Nor could he leave it sticking out. I, on the other hand, along with my two parents and four siblings, had lived with that nail for a cumulative count of over 200 years without it ever occurring to any of us to do something about it. I certainly knew it was there; I used to wrap the phone cord around it while sitting on those steps and chatting with friends. (Yes, that dates me!) If a protruding nail can be a preoccupation for some and effectively invisible to others, you can never assume your co-workers are noticing or thinking the same things you are. Nor can you fault them for not seeing what you see. This fact is at the heart of my Disconnect Principle.
Now that I have your attention, let me make one thing completely clear: you can not change others! Not bosses. Not employees. Not co-workers. Not family. Maybe especially not family -partners, children, or parents! People change their behavior, beliefs, and life circumstances only when they are ready. Simply put, they ‘gotta wanna’! One of my readers wrote seeking advice about several obstacles his wife faced at work. As I read his email, I could see that part of the issue was her unwillingness to speak up and try to change her circumstances, which was a source of frustration to him. He was sympathetic and concerned, but she was in a difficult situation that wasn’t going to fix itself. So what does one do in this situation?
There are a lot of baby boomers in the workforce and many of them think they are victims of age discrimination. Ironically, many of the boomers’ children and grandchildren also blame age discrimination and believe they are being overlooked because they are too young. Some in both groups actually are victims of age discrimination. The others are just…
Even my best clients have been known to forget some of the most critical distinctions, so I thought some reminders were in order.
It’s April. Time’s a flying! Have you blocked out time for your 2019 vacations? If not, get on it before you miss the boat!