Our political process is a mess. I don’t think we’ve been this divided since the Civil War. Compromise has become a dirty word. Many are unwilling to read or listen to opinions unlike their own. Healthy debate seems a thing of the past. And it’s all because politicians, the parties, and people in general have staked their identities to alternatives, not to objectives. Let me explain what I mean. Alternatives are choices. Options. Routes to a destination. Means of achieving an end. Here are some examples: No new taxes Tax the rich Defund Planned Parenthood Medicare for all Small government Big government My right to arm myself as I desire is sacrosanct You all know people wedded to these alternatives. As a matter of fact, these have all become objectives in the minds of many. But they aren’t objectives. They are all alternatives.
“Thank you for calling Cooley-Dickinson Health Group – Hadley Family Practice. If this is a medical emergency, please hang up and dial 911.” “Thank you for calling Tufts Medical Center and Floating Hospital for Children. We are dedicated to providing high quality care every day. If this is a medical emergency, please hang up and dial 911.” What’s wrong with this picture? Why on earth aren’t the medical emergency instructions given first? This rankles me every time I get an answering machine at a medical facility. I can’t possibly believe you are dedicated to providing quality care if you would rather talk about it than do it by getting me off the phone as fast you can in an emergency. Distinguish between the need to build rapport and the need to get to the point. When it is time to get to the point, do it quickly. Don’t copy others when they are doing something stupid. And please don’t seize every opportunity to tell me how wonderful you are. Actions speak more loudly than words and spouting platitudes during a medical emergency will not convince me of your dedication to quality care. P.S. While writing this, I wanted to see if other facilities had even longer messages than Tufts. That experiment didn’t last! Baystate Health and Mass General answered the phone! If this is a medical emergency, don’t call me! But if you need clarity, dial 603-784-5727 ASAP!
“No two persons ever read the same book.” — Edmund Wilson Nor do they: Hear the same message Measure success with the same yardstick Thrill to the same challenge Respond with the same speed Pulse with the same energy And yet, consider how little people really listen. How quickly and frequently they draw conclusions from a handful of words. How rarely they pause to test for understanding. No wonder best laid plans fail, balls are dropped, and misunderstandings are so plentiful. Start seeing differences instead of listening for what you want to hear.
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw This is so incredibly true! We listen for what we want to hear, hear it, and act on it. In the workplace, this happens all day long. Stop and clarify! You will save yourself bucket-loads of trouble and wasted time!
Whether you are an executive or a member of a Board of Directors, I bet you recognize at least one of these situations: The executive sees little or no value in the board. I’m not talking about the quality of the board here; I’m talking about the attitude of the executive. Relations are strained and no one is happy. The executive respects the board, but doesn’t know what to do with them. I’ve seen many cases where the executive wastes days every single month preparing for the board meeting. It’s a major production bent on entertaining and impressing the directors. Nothing substantive is accomplished. In other cases, they all plod through a very boring and lengthy meeting that also accomplishes nothing. The executive has a really close relationship with one of the directors and it isn’t the chairperson. The result is serious trust and power issues. It’s like having a spy on the board who will run to the executive with confidential board business. Even when confidences are not being violated, an executive can’t risk having his board think they are. The executive shares too much with the board and drags them down into operational weeds. As a result, the executive unwittingly loses control of decisions and the board’s time is wasted. The executive shares personal fears and insecurities with members of the board. It doesn’t take long before the board loses confidence in the executive and the executive loses his job. An executive is supposed generate confidence, not erode it. The executive doesn’t think the board is taking on enough responsibility. This is particularly true of non-profits and fundraising responsibilities. Undercurrents flow and resentment builds for all. The board doesn’t show up. More resentment. Decisions are made without appropriate expertise, input, and oversight. The board isn’t completely happy with… read more →
Who are you when you ask questions? 1. The Challenger “Why are you doing Y when we haven’t done X?” A question like this may be completely innocent, but it may also be a challenge disguised as a question. The Challenger clearly believes the other person is wrong and is often eager to prove it. While the tone of voice usually betrays those intentions, the recipient may never notice as he struggles to answer the question and wonders why he is feeling and sounding defensive. 2. The Ambusher The Ambusher asks a series of questions, each quite simple, and often requiring nothing more than a yes or no. If you are on the receiving end, you reply innocently while trying to figure out where these questions are leading. Next thing you know, you’ve been ambushed. The Ambusher almost chuckles aloud thinking he has caught you in a contradiction or led you to an unavoidable conclusion. Of course, all he has really done is wasted your time and revealed himself as a manipulator.
Five minutes and 15 questions could save you 50%! Why? Because clarity produces better results faster with greater confidence and commitment. Wondering how clear your organization is? Check Your Clarity Index now!
Do you remember the anti-smoking ads with horrid images depicting the consequences of smoking? Did they make an impression on you? They certainly got to me. One image in particular, along with the freakish voice, is probably burned into my brain forever. Those ads were undeniably powerful. But just because they were powerful doesn’t mean they were successful.
I think I’m going to scream. Creativity and innovation are just great. Furthermore, I know language evolves. It must. It should. It will. However, not every noun needs to be a verb!!! Here are some I’ve heard recently – nails scratching on blackboards to my ears. yard sale – “We will be yard-saling that day.” tuition – “We simply must tuition them.” de-risk – “You can de-risk this project by negotiating better terms.” credential – “That is a great way to credential yourself.” What examples have you encountered recently?