I often help clients make complex and important decisions. Strategic planning, significant changes, and sensitive issues are the main situations where I am brought in. Inevitably, this includes working with a group of leaders who are the decision-makers and whose buy-in is critical to success. My clients are often amazed at how quickly I can extract significant insights and guide a group to critical decisions that they all support with great enthusiasm and commitment. Want to know my secrets?
After witnessing relatively few actions, we put labels on people. When impressed by comments or accomplishments, we reach for positive labels such as brilliant, ambitious, talented, or a natural leader. The more impressive the feat, the quicker we are to draw our conclusions and apply the label.
When a client finally accepted that the root cause of their many struggles was that they keep hiring the wrong people, it was a major breakthrough. What will likely take even longer is for them to realize that they aren’t even qualified to hire the kind of people they really need! “How can we be hiring the wrong people when we hire such great people?” they demanded to know. Every one a top notch subject matter expert just like themselves. People with great experience and knowledge in the field. People who care as much as they do. And people who fit in really well. How could this be a problem? The problem they finally recognized is that by hiring people like themselves, they don’t really have people managers or project managers or product managers or branding experts or…
While speaking at the Elevate Leadership Summit in Idaho, I wanted to illustrate how differently we all see things so I relayed a story about the day I brought my future husband home for the very first time. Within about two minutes of walking in the door, he asked for a hammer. He wanted to pound in a protruding nail on our stairway before something or someone got caught on it. He could not not see that nail. Nor could he leave it sticking out. I, on the other hand, along with my two parents and four siblings, had lived with that nail for a cumulative count of over 200 years without it ever occurring to any of us to do something about it. I certainly knew it was there; I used to wrap the phone cord around it while sitting on those steps and chatting with friends. (Yes, that dates me!) If a protruding nail can be a preoccupation for some and effectively invisible to others, you can never assume your co-workers are noticing or thinking the same things you are. Nor can you fault them for not seeing what you see. This fact is at the heart of my Disconnect Principle.
Even my best clients have been known to forget some of the most critical distinctions, so I thought some reminders were in order.
I used to hate giving feedback. I hated that uncomfortable feeling of delivering bad news or confronting employees who screwed up or came up short. I didn’t know anyone who felt differently. I still don’t. I am hoping this article changes that.
With the trust of your employees and colleagues, you can accomplish amazing things. Trust generates commitment. It generates energy. It encourages people to think for themselves, speak up with confidence, and assume greater responsibility. It eliminates the stress and waste associated with self-protective behaviors. When others trust you and believe you have their best interests at heart, they can be a better version of themselves. Everyone wins. So how does a leader build trust? Here are eight steps that will help you become a trusted leader able to accomplish amazing things.
There is a formula for providing effective feedback. It is really pretty simple and many people know about it. Recently, however, I discovered a common and fatal flaw in the way most people apply that formula. The Feedback Formula The formula involves pointing out a specific, observable behavior and ensuring the other person understands the impact of that behavior. “When you {did/said a particular factual, observable thing}, {it made me/us/the company feel/think/suffer a negative impact}.” Once you’ve made your point, it is time to listen and understand the other person’s perspective on what happened and why. With this new, mutual understanding, you can work together to figure out how to prevent a recurrence. To make this work, you have to:
Idaho – a great place to be in May! Why? Probably many reasons, but here is one: I will be the opening keynote speaker at the Elevate Leadership Summit in Pocatello. I’m looking forward to it! You could be too!