After almost two decades of running pretty much all of the meetings I attend, I suppose there was a danger that I might forget what it’s like to be on the receiving end. Well, it all came roaring back to me the other day as I sat helplessly in a socially distanced meeting.
After moving to a small town in New Hampshire two years ago, I found myself getting involved in local issues where I have strong opinions. Ironically, despite all of my experience and success facilitating difficult decisions with clients, I am not an effective facilitator when I have strong opinions! And guess what. You aren’t an effective facilitator when you have strong opinions either!
Do you ever wonder how patient you should be? I’ve got executive advisory clients who struggle with this question. Some of them are naturally impatient, know they need to work at being more patient, but worry that being too patient sends the wrong message. Do you ever feel that way? So what can you do? Here is the short answer:
There was a time when many of us worried about nothing more important than whether we were going to get a promotion or have good weather on our vacation. Is that true? Am I making that up? Maybe it’s just nostalgia for “good old days” that never existed. But look at us now. We face a pandemic that is starting to look like a permanent fixture in our lives, especially if/as the coronavirus mutates. Our systemic racism as a nation has been laid bare before us once again. Our divisiveness has grown so extreme many people can’t even talk with their relatives and neighbors anymore. Our democracy is under attack and both ends of the political spectrum think this is true. Whoa! Is this the way to open a newsletter, article, or blog post?
Wow! These last few months have just been surreal! I don’t know anyone who doesn’t long for a return to the way things were (except those who have decided that sleeping, exercising, cooking, and reading shouldn’t be considered luxuries). However, there are several reasons to guard against such thoughts:
At the end of May, I wrote a piece for Forbes about the outrage people are so quick to feel these days. It began like this: “We are outraged. “We are outraged when we see someone without a mask. Outraged when asked to wear a mask. Outraged with every headline. Outraged by every social media comment. Outraged before breakfast. After lunch. During dinner. In our dreams. It’s an epidemic. And I’m convinced our outrage is more destructive than the novel coronavirus.” (read more) Obviously, I was thinking about pandemic outrage. Boy, what a difference a day can make!
We are outraged. We are outraged when we see someone without a mask. Outraged when asked to wear a mask. Outraged with every headline. Outraged by every comment on social media. Outraged before breakfast. After lunch. During dinner. In our dreams. It’s an epidemic. And I’m convinced our outrage is more destructive than the coronavirus. How Destructive Is Outrage?
In an interview on NPR, Eliese Goldbach, the author of Rust, talked about working in a steel mill during the recession of 2008. When asked how her ideas about steelworkers changed during her three years there, she explained that they weren’t just one type of person.
I remember being given a task as a new intern years ago. The request was so vague and confusing that the first thing I did was to dig into the project and try to figure out what my manager was asking of me. A week later I went back to him with a list of concrete objectives. He agreed. I smiled and said I was finished. This is what you call lucky delegation. I had just completed the task that he expected would keep me busy for the whole summer. That’s not the norm. More common results include: Continue Reading