When I sat down with three executives at a large international bank in London, I got an earful of frustrations. Determined, hard-working, ambitious people, who would like to accomplish more faster, are susceptible to frustration. It’s only natural. It is also the reason they were talking with me.
There is a formula for providing effective feedback. It is really pretty simple and many people know about it. Recently, however, I discovered a common and fatal flaw in the way most people apply that formula. The Feedback Formula The formula involves pointing out a specific, observable behavior and ensuring the other person understands the impact of that behavior. “When you {did/said a particular factual, observable thing}, {it made me/us/the company feel/think/suffer a negative impact}.” Once you’ve made your point, it is time to listen and understand the other person’s perspective on what happened and why. With this new, mutual understanding, you can work together to figure out how to prevent a recurrence. To make this work, you have to:
A client of mine was told confidentially by a third party that he was picky. That’s it. That’s all he was given. The messenger didn’t want to reveal the source and so my client was left with nothing to go on. Few people consider being picky a virtue. Especially my client, who was new to the job. When he told me about this, he had fashioned no fewer than three detailed theories about what he might have done and with whom that could have possibly led to this disparaging label. What a waste!
Idaho – a great place to be in May! Why? Probably many reasons, but here is one: I will be the opening keynote speaker at the Elevate Leadership Summit in Pocatello. I’m looking forward to it! You could be too!
During the opening rounds of a pickleball tournament, I played with seven different partners. I’d played with some of them before. Others I’d never even met. In order to get a lot of games in without delays, the organizers set time limits on the games. I don’t think any of us had a clue as to how long our games usually took, but we did know that the points we scored in each game would accrue to our individual tournament scores. Thus, not finishing exacted a big penalty. No one wanted to be caught down 2-8 when the bell sounded while someone on the next court walked away with 11 points for finishing the game. This combination of competition and time pressure was pretty nerve-racking. It also provided the opportunity for me to compare the way my different partners reacted to the pressure. The best partners not only helped us win by hitting great shots and chasing down lops, they also helped me play my best by:
If I overlook some of my personal fiascos such as: the airline that sold us nonstop tickets to London and then put us on a plane that couldn’t cross the Atlantic without refueling and the major appliance manufacturer with initials GE that decided it was easier to replace our six-month-old washing machine instead of sending a repairman to make adjustments – and then left us with a brand new machine that won’t run at all If I ignore those, and, instead, consider the many businesses I’ve worked with or talked with recently as a consultant, I’m pretty impressed. Lots of them are doing many things really well. But, of course, everyone can do better. So let me share some of the areas where I see the most pain and the greatest opportunity for improvement.
After completing individual interviews with the executive team of a new client, it was clear to me that one of the things we have to work on is what happens when people do and don’t achieve established objectives. Simultaneously, my friend and colleague Andy Bass from the UK published an article that includes a really nice tool for evaluating the factors that motivate and demotivate.
In a recent article of mine, “This Is Your Only Life. Are You Putting Yourself First?,” I encourage you to put yourself first because doing so not only makes you healthier mentally, physically, and emotionally, but it also makes you more productive and effective. One reader responded by saying the ideas were nice and simple in theory, but not realistic. He blamed the “work landscape” for making them impossible. I thought that reaction might be quite common and, thus, worthy of discussion. There are three problems with this reader’s response:
I have worked with clients representing over 40 industries including corporate giants and numerous non-profits. While all of these organizations benefit from clarity, strategic and operational, many of the people I work with also suffer one or more of three bad habits that prevent them from maximizing their effectiveness and that of their employees.