During the holidays, I frequently passed a house with at least 3 dozen giant inflatable characters in the yard. They dwarfed both house and yard. Stranger yet, they were alternately inflated and deflated; whatever the reason, someone was doing a lot of work to inflate them regularly.

My curiosity was piqued briefly at each passing. Why would someone want so many? Do they deflate them to prevent a prankster from seeing if a knife blade will make them dance and fizzle like balloons? What do the neighbors think? 

I could have gone beyond curious to critic, and maybe would have in different circumstances. Over the top. Ridiculous. Gaudy. As ugly as the house across the way with six gazillion lights.

From critiquing the spectacle to criticizing the people is another short hop. Tasteless fools! What are they trying to prove? I can’t believe they think that is attractive. Nothing better to do, obviously. What a waste of money.

It actually pains me to write that last paragraph, to put hurtful epithets in print. I hope it isn’t because I now know the rest of the story. I hope it would always be antithetical to who I am, a line I don’t cross.

Curiosity is at the heart of learning and can fuel tactful questions that build understanding and relationships. Critiquing an object is a way to explore distinctions and develop preferences, a positive if pursued with openness and interest. Criticizing an individual, however, is dangerous territory that accomplishes no good. You can’t possibly understand the intentions and predicament of others so criticism is folly. You may dislike what they do, but judge the result, not the person.

However, you can attempt to learn why someone does what they do by exercising your curiosity. The Daily Hampshire Gazette did exactly that. The yard full of inflatables were for the pleasure of the owners’ developmentally disabled daughter and those who rode the bus with her to and from Riverside Industries, a nonprofit that provides job training, employment, and other services for disabled people. It is hard to see them as a gaudy spectacle with that knowledge, even if they are. Now all I picture is the excitement and smiles on eager faces waiting for their favorite characters to come into view.

Distinguish between curiosity, critique, and criticism of others. Use the former to learn the rest of the story and you are likely to walk away with a sharper mind and a warmer heart.