A distress call from my daughter involved a strange situation at work. Naturally, I wanted to help but it was tough to get a word in edgewise. When I finally found an opening to ask a few questions, they were clearly unwelcome. For about the ten thousandth time, I had confused venting with a request for help. I wish she would just tell me up front what role she wants me to take! This is a common occurrence with children, partners, and friends and it usually leads to frustration, if not hard feelings.

A similar scenario plays out in the working world every single minute of every single day. The flavor is a little different, the root cause the same, and the cost potentially far higher. 

You’ve been there. Whether the scene is an office, hallway, or meeting, I’m sure you’ve been on the receiving end of a “conversation” where your role was completely unclear. You had no idea if you were supposed to:

• Empathize,
• Listen and learn,
• Provide input and insights,
• Decide,
• Confirm, or
• Approve

Ambiguous roles produce fog. The simple act of telling others what you need from them produces clarity.

The fog makes some silent and others talkative. Both of which can be extremely counter-productive.

Clear roles encourage people to speak up with confidence. They also prevent unnecessary conversation, reduce frustration, and save a tremendous amount of time.

Creating clarity need not be hard but you must be intentional. You can’t just start talking. State your objective and what you’d like from those present.