When I was in my early twenties, the best paying part time job around was driving school buses. I studied up, got my special license, and ventured forth on field trips, athletic excursions, and several daily runs chock full of little, loud blonds (this was Minnesota, afterall). The average driver seemed about forty years older than I, but they were helpful and nice. The Office Manager was another story.

I remember one day when I was backing into the bus garage. She stood and watched, so I watched her in addition to all my mirrors. I assumed no reaction from her meant no problem. Wouldn’t you?

Afterwards, without a word to me, she walked into the office and reported to my boss that I’d backed over some washing equipment. I never felt it. Never saw it. Don’t even know if it was true. Assuming it was, I couldn’t believe she stood there and watched me do it without any warning of any kind. No shout. No raised arm. No help what so ever.

I’d made a serious mistake. Not because I ran over a hose or something. But because it never occurred to me that she wouldn’t want me to succeed. I assumed she would be helpful. I thought we were on the same side, working for the same boss, protecting the same equipment, accomplishing the same goals.

That was quite the eye-opener for me. Not only had I assumed she was with me, I had trusted her as a source of important input as to whether I was on the right track as I backed into that dark, cavernous garage. I had deferred to her guidance over my own judgment and natural caution. I didn’t stop to double check. I trusted her eyes and her experience. Whether she was testing me or hoping to see me fail, I will never know. What I do know is that she wasn’t with me and her omissions, regardless of the motivation, contributed to my failure.

Since then, I have witnessed numerous occasions where supervisors and colleagues are no longer with another employee. They may not be actively watching for mistakes, hoping for failure, or setting the employee up for failure, but they, nonetheless, have crossed a line and, like this woman, are likely contributing to failure with their silence, if not their actions.

When you think about it, there are really only two states. You’re either with others or against them. On the same team or not. Value their success or don’t. Respect their talent, contributions, and challenges or don’t.

When you are with others, your every action can increase learning, growth, enthusiasm, and success in little and big ways. When you aren’t, you contribute to their failure in little and big ways.

Think about your employees and colleagues. Whom are you clearly with?

And what about the others? Do you understand why? Do you recognize the impact of not treating them as if they are on the same team? Unless you are a supervisor in a position to dismiss them, there is no benefit to treating teammates as if they are not on your team!