“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” These are the words of novelist Maya Angelou and I totally agree. Early in my career, a colleague with a cause wanted me to jump in and help. The nature of the cause is irrelevant and long forgotten. But I do remember how she made me feel and she made me feel lousy. My colleague was a bright young engineer. She saw herself as a strong leader with rapidly expanding influence and impact. When she made me feel lousy, she taught me one of the most important leadership lessons I have ever learned. In many ways, she was the epitome of a strong leader when she broached her idea:
If any of the following sound like your performance management system, you aren’t improving performance. You may think you are, but you aren’t. 1. Employees are crushed if they aren’t “Truly Outstanding” or at least “Exceptional.” In an era where “all the children are above average,” especially in companies with outstanding employees, how do you accomplish anything by putting people in boxes that do nothing but confirm their preconceptions or shatter their illusions? And why do you want to put managers in a position where those are their choices? 2. The main take away is a rating and a salary change.
There are 5.4 million job openings in the US right now. The unemployment rate is 5.3%, the lowest it has been since April 2008. That means competition for top talent is extremely high. Meanwhile, the average hiring process has increased by 10 days in the last 5 years. 10 business days! Two weeks! And that’s the average! That means some have gained far more than two weeks. If you are one of the companies with a slower hiring process, you probably “improved” your process by seeking more input, ensuring a consistent experience for all candidates, testing for anything from drugs to knowledge, documenting your decision more carefully. etc. And you may also have reduced the risk of a law suit from very small to tiny. But 10 days! With competition for talent at what’s probably an all time high, you can not afford to be slow! Speed matters! If your hiring process has gotten slower, I guarantee it is just the tip of the iceberg. What else is slower?
I feel sorry for lots of under-performers. You know the ones. The guys who don’t quite measure up but don’t understand why because no one as ever told them! One minute they hear what sounds like praise, but it’s followed by innuendo and confusing comments. Most of us have no desire to hurt someone’s feelings. So what happens when we have to point out a performance problem? The natural tendency is to try to reduce the bad news by starting off with something positive. That’s the praise that confuses. Especially when you dig really deep to find the good things.
A lot of people freak out at the thought of driving in the city. Why? Because of traffic and parking nightmares! I totally agree. And that’s why we moved to the hill towns of western Massachusetts ten years ago when we’d had enough of the steadily increasing traffic of Minneapolis. During that decade, we came to Boston infrequently, even though it was only a hundred miles away. When I had business meetings, I often drove in the night before because the morning traffic could add an hour or more to any trip. When I left in the morning, it was usually at 5:00 AM or earlier. This past winter, when Boston was the snowiest place in the USA, my only hope of getting to Boston meetings on time required leaving two hours early with my husband driving so he could drop me off, and, if necessary, drive in circles until I was finished. Parking was simply impossible. Being a resident is different! At least in the summer! Residents can park their cars, leave them parked, and walk! But first you have to prove you are a resident and get a resident parking permit. That was our first order of business when we returned from Istanbul in early June! It took most of the day, of course, but in the end, we walked out with our wonderful little Back Bay sticker! Isn’t it beautiful? So let me tell you how this really works:
Whether you are an executive or a member of a Board of Directors, I bet you recognize at least one of these situations: The executive sees little or no value in the board. I’m not talking about the quality of the board here; I’m talking about the attitude of the executive. Relations are strained and no one is happy. The executive respects the board, but doesn’t know what to do with them. I’ve seen many cases where the executive wastes days every single month preparing for the board meeting. It’s a major production bent on entertaining and impressing the directors. Nothing substantive is accomplished. In other cases, they all plod through a very boring and lengthy meeting that also accomplishes nothing. The executive has a really close relationship with one of the directors and it isn’t the chairperson. The result is serious trust and power issues. It’s like having a spy on the board who will run to the executive with confidential board business. Even when confidences are not being violated, an executive can’t risk having his board think they are. The executive shares too much with the board and drags them down into operational weeds. As a result, the executive unwittingly loses control of decisions and the board’s time is wasted. The executive shares personal fears and insecurities with members of the board. It doesn’t take long before the board loses confidence in the executive and the executive loses his job. An executive is supposed generate confidence, not erode it. The executive doesn’t think the board is taking on enough responsibility. This is particularly true of non-profits and fundraising responsibilities. Undercurrents flow and resentment builds for all. The board doesn’t show up. More resentment. Decisions are made without appropriate expertise, input, and oversight. The board isn’t completely happy with… read more →
In the midst of our packing frenzy, I had a brilliant idea. Why not have the movers move everything while we were relaxing at an outdoor cafe in Europe? Before leaving, we would mark all the boxes and furniture with one of three colored labels: yellow = move to storage green = move to Boston red = leave for new owners At this point, I knew exactly which pieces of furniture, as well as paintings, framed photos, and rugs, would fit in our new apartment. I think I measured pretty much every dimension at least five times to be certain. We had boxes matched with each built-in at the apartment. I knew how many inches of books the built-in bookshelves could hold. I even had a floor plan so the movers would know where to put the furniture upon arrival. These were all tagged in green. The boxes headed for storage were accumulating in our basement, they and miscellaneous furniture were tagged in yellow. A few items – guest room queen, screen porch furniture, and others wore red. We met with the mover and I wish you could have seen the look on his face!
Energy is a game-changer. When we are energetic, we are happier. Period. That part is pretty simple. But it goes beyond that. Far beyond. When we are energetic, we are more determined and more able to overcome obstacles. When we fall down, the energetic jump up and try again. Energy fuels our ability to take actions that create more happiness. Furthermore, our energy does not just create happiness for ourselves. When we are energetic, we are also more able and willing to help others. We can be more generous with our time and energy. And we all know that helping others is a source of happiness for others as well as for ourselves.
Readers and friends alike have told me they can’t picture me living in the city. They associate me with skiing, wood-burning stoves, and wilderness canoe trips. What they don’t know is that I fell in love with Boston at the age of 12 and chose Tufts University for my undergraduate years as a result. They don’t know I bought season tickets just for me to The Theater in the Round and the Minnesota Opera when I was in high school. They don’t realize I have traveled in 43 countries, spent lots of that time in cities, and loved every minute of it. And, if that weren’t the case, if I had never really experienced city life at all, wouldn’t it be about time?!
Am I the only one who falls asleep or gets distracted during phone menus? And then has to start over? Sometimes getting so messed up that I have to hang up, call back, and once again drill down seven layers in the hopes of finding a decent option or live human being? I hate it! Phone menus have gotten so long, have always been boring, are usually redundant, and are now inevitably dished out by a super professional voice – an ultra nice, pleasant, sleep-inducing voice! I say cut the message by 90%, make it interesting, and hire the kid next door. Or better yet? Answer the phone!!!!