When people express an interest in my services, tell me about a challenge they face, or ask me to call them, I follow up. I totally understand if they change their minds later or decide the concern we discussed is a lower priority than others and put our conversation on hold. I also understand that an email sent is not an email received and that things can get buried pretty quickly in the daily rush. I am patient, probably too patient. Nonetheless, I do not understand when someone repeatedly ignores my email or doesn’t call back. How hard is it to say you’ve changed your mind? Why do you want to leave me trying to guess whether you are disorganized, busy, uninterested, or unable to express yourself constructively?
I never signed up for auto-rewal, at least not intentionally. Were I one of those people who barely glances at a credit card statement, I still wouldn’t realize I was on the auto-renewal plan. At some point, I might wonder why this magazine keeps landing in my mailbox. Or not. Life is pretty busy. My habit of checking my credit card statement rewards me with the opportunity to dig up a phone number, make the call, navigate menu options, and then sit on hold. Of course, I am so annoyed by this waste of time that I multi-task, fail to hear the menu option that is relevant, and have to listen again. When I finally manage to cancel the subscription, I am promised a refund in 6-8 weeks.
In “Grouping Students by Ability Regains Favor in Classroom,” the New York Times, June 10, 2013, reports that the pendulum is swinging back. In the 80s and 90s, many felt that separating children by ability would trap underprivileged or underperforming children permanently. Thus, we started treating everyone the same. Age became the sole qualification and children of all types took the same classes.
When Brad Marchand was interviewed before the Bruins’ Stanley Cup Play-off game last night, he talked about getting his confidence back with a couple of recent goals. Getting his confidence back?!?!?! I don’t doubt him, but consider for a moment that this is one of the best players in the best hockey league in the world and he struggles with confidence? If he struggles with confidence, who doesn’t? The answer, of course, is no one. No one feels confident all the time. Those who pretend to, are either fooling themselves or hoping to to fool the rest of us. No one feels confident in all things and no one feels confident at all times even in the things they do best. Even Marchand, when playing hockey.
“If you just set out to be liked, you would be prepared to compromise on anything at any time and you would achieve nothing.” Margaret Thatcher “Strive to be liked and you will gain little. Strive to be good and you will be liked for your kindness, accomplishments, and values.” Ann Latham
You don’t need scientific studies to tell you that fear cripples. It impedes our ability to think clearly, to commit wholeheartedly, and to act promptly. Thus, the ability to conquer fear is a tremendous differentiator. Without that ability, you will endure unnecessary waffling, anxiety, delays, and lost opportunities. You are also far less likely to stand out in a crowd. The good news is that conquering fear is quite simple. It starts with identifying, quite specifically, the source of the fear. Unfamiliar, emotional, important, and/or complex situations often generate fear. That fear, however, is usually very general. You can’t protect yourself from general fears, nor expect to make decisions or take action without understanding why you are hesitant. You must get specific.
I’ve been called stubborn a time or two, but I swear it is only by people who don’t know the difference between stubborn and persistent! I believe we should all avoid being stubborn and strive to be persistent. The world is not an easy place so persistence is essential. Persistence gets us over hurdles, through tough times, past confusion, and farther down the road to success. Stubbornness just gets us into trouble! If you are persistent: You doggedly pursue results and are willing to consider different ways to get there You may repeat yourself in an effort to persuade You ask questions sincerely and listen eagerly for new information
I met more people on the hotel stairway during last week’s stay in Philly than ever before. Was it because the elevator was slow or the crowd was young and fit? Either way, here we were clanking up and down, surrounded by metal, concrete, harsh light, and dismal paint. Today I tried to go up the stairs I’d come down in the parking ramp in Fort Worth. No luck; the door was locked at the bottom. Half the time, I can’t even find the stairways. When I do, they are ugly, if not disgusting. Isn’t it time to encourage their use? Once you’ve stowed your roller bag, a flight or three or five is a great way to loosen up after sitting in a plane or car. Gets the blood flowing. Helps people survive the ridiculously huge portions most restaurants serve these days. Want to appeal to the young and fit? Want to help people get more exercise? Open up those stairways! Paint the walls, carpet the stairs, maybe even hang a picture or two on the landings! If you agree, spread the word. Maybe we can change the way hotels think about stairways!