After witnessing relatively few actions, we put labels on people. When impressed by comments or accomplishments, we reach for positive labels such as brilliant, ambitious, talented, or a natural leader. The more impressive the feat, the quicker we are to draw our conclusions and apply the label.
When disgusted, outraged, alienated, humiliated, or embarrassed by actions, we reach for derogatory labels such as lazy, stupid, irresponsible, nasty, careless, and worthless. The worse the behaviors in our eyes, the quicker we are to draw our conclusions and apply the label.
Whether positive or negative, we are simply too quick to make assumptions, generalizations, and judgments that stick a label on people.
These labels are a problem. Here is why:
- Labels are simply a form of name-calling and we all know that’s bad, don’t we?
- Labels are usually wrong because they are based on too little information. Someone who appears to be irresponsible or lazy or careless or any number of labels, may be none of those things. Instead, they might be in a job they care nothing about, suffering from personal problems you know nothing about, or simply modeling behaviors they learned from their parents. Most people want to show up, be good, and do well. When they don’t, there is a multitude of potential obstacles preventing them.
- Labels transform specific, factual, observable behaviors into conclusions about invisible personal characteristics such as intelligence, ambition, interests, values, and talents that you can’t possibly know or understand.
- Labels deny the complexity of human beings who can be stupid and smart within the same day. Reliable and irresponsible within the same hour. Kind and mean within the same sentence.
- Labels pigeonhole people so we can be excused for treating them differently based on a label.
- Labels make people defensive and unhappy. How does that help anyone?
- Labels are divisive. The worse the label, the more divisive.
Consider the label ‘racist.’ Now there is a label that makes all seven of my points abundantly clear!
Racist is one of the most divisive labels I can think of. It demeans a person completely and marks them as evil. A racist is clearly inferior. A deplorable. At least, that’s how many people think.
Labeling someone as a racist puts them in a pigeonhole where you can then treat them differently. You don’t have to treat them with kindness and respect. You can write them off.
And once you’ve labeled someone racist, you’ve certainly ended any conversation and stopped listening. You have squashed the opportunity for either you or the ‘racist’ to learn. The ‘racist’ will never understand why his behavior was offensive or why he should consider another perspective. And you will never learn that this ‘evil’ person might be good, kind, generous, reliable, and loyal 99% of the time. Those racist remarks caused by who knows what circumstances, perspectives, and experiences might be a tiny blemish on an otherwise wonderful person.
People are complex. Racism is complex. Acceptable behaviors not so many years ago are obviously racist today. But not to everyone.
Even the most aware, well-meaning, forward-thinking people have done and said racist things, often without recognizing it. We could all benefit from greater reflection and insight into our inadvertent contributions to racism.
It’s complex. Much more complex than meets the eye.
We are all on a journey to becoming our best selves and understanding the world around us. Some people consciously pursue this journey with more determination than others. But all of us will become better people and make the world a better place if we move forward together with openness, respect, and compassion. Labels never help. Whether brilliant, lazy, or racist. Don’t call people names! Don’t put people in simplistic boxes! It simply doesn’t help! Instead, look a little deeper. Listen a little harder. When we work harder at communicating, understanding, caring, and learning than we do at choosing and discussing labels, we are better people, better friends, better parents, and better managers.
By the way, if you thought you knew who “He” referred to in the title, you proved my assertion that we leap to assumptions and judgments too quickly!
Related Reading:
- I’m Right and You’re Wrong – A Fatal Flaw
- Effective Feedback Made Easy
- Hate Giving Feedback? Embrace The Disconnect Principle
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