In the midst of the biggest power outage ever to darken the Northeast, three days in at our house, I received a call, presumably from no more than 100 miles away, but obviously in the lit half of the state. My alma mater wanted money.

I wanted lights, running water, heat, a hot shower, and a refrigerator with the power to stay cold.

Had he been calling from California, it would have been more understandable. But he wasn’t. And here he was consuming the battery of my only form of communication. My only means of calling for help, should it come to that. Why do you suppose I wasn’t feeling patient, friendly, and generous?

It is too easy to plow through our daily routines oblivious to the possibility of death, famine, pestilence, and other hardships until it walks into our own lives. “How are you today?” roles off the tongue with ease, though many people barely pause for a response. Then the spiel begins without regard for the situation or mood you’ve just dialed or walked into.

Are you bent on:

• Achieving your goal?
• Completing the script?
• Making a sale?
• Getting to your destination as fast as possible?
• Impressing others?
• Winning?

If so, you are in danger of losing. It takes two to tango. Forget about the other person at your own peril. Stop, look, and listen! More specifically:

1. Scan the morning news so you aren’t clueless about major disasters, community issues, and, sometimes, personal tragedy.
2. Entertain the possibility that the other person has priorities that differ from yours.
3. Remind yourself that unless you are on the playing field, win/win is the best strategy.
4. Ask questions. (How are you? Is this still a good time to talk? Here is what I was hoping to achieve, how about you?)
5. Be flexible.
6. Stop, look, and listen!

We shouldn’t need reminders to be human and humane. I guess it is because we are human.