A recent medical appointment began with a medical student asking me questions. Once the student finished, the doctor arrived and she was supposed to relay what I had said. The student failed. She hadn’t been listening with an open mind. Instead, she was listening for what she expected to hear. How do I know? Because she didn’t use my words. Her preconceptions led her to describe what she had read about in a textbook, not what I had told her. In the medical world, this is dangerous behavior. If she had been the doctor, she could have easily latched onto a false diagnosis and provided the wrong treatment.

In the business world, the consequences of listening with preconceptions may not be as serious as giving a patient the wrong treatment, but the consequences of misdiagnosing a situation and choosing the wrong next steps can still be incredibly serious. Lost time, profits, productivity, and credibility. Rework, confusion, frustration, and anger. Those are just a few of the consequences.

Do you listen with an open mind? Or do you hear what you want to hear? Hear what you were afraid you would hear? Hear what you usually hear? Hear what you know must be true? And then charge down the well-worn path of ineffective action that changes nothing?

Don’t be like this medical student. Listen with an open mind. Ask probing questions. Pay attention to the words others use. Find out exactly what is and isn’t happening as expected. Ask about actual evidence. Be specific and clear about where things stand and what must be different.

When I am consulting, especially when facilitating groups, I could easily leap to solutions, talk like an expert, and tell my clients what their problem is and what they need to do about it. Instead, I consciously avoid drawing conclusions. I ask questions. I use their words to draw out more detail and identify the essence of their concerns. I help them paint the picture of where they are, what they need to accomplish, and how they can best do that. I know that my conclusions are irrelevant if theirs differ from mine. While I push back when their assumptions need challenging, obviously, and I give advice when they are at a loss, I never decide I know best. If I do that, I will fail. I will lose the group and we will never agree. I believe my ability to listen, really listen, with an open mind is a big part of what makes me successful and the reason so many of my clients say things like this about me:

“Ann’s style is empathetic, open, and non-judgmental. She somehow seemed to know the room right from the start. She was able to engage everyone, elicit honest feedback, and stimulate creative thinking. This was especially impressive since our group differs significantly in terms of professional expertise and history with the organization. We all felt that our ideas were honored and appreciated. Ann is especially adept at making good choices about further discourse and exposition, pursuing the most fruitful issues, and avoiding time wasted on others. She created a productive environment with a level, inviting, and open playing field. I was very pleased with the results.”

– Jon Abbott, CEO, President & member, WGBH

Listening without an open mind is not listening. You are not in this world to convince only yourself and charge forward alone. You aren’t always right and, even when you are, it is irrelevant if everyone is walking in the other direction.