Your priorities and desires for the new year likely require a combination of completing tasks and changing behaviors. The former is easy compared to the latter. Our behaviors and habits are so ingrained that they often defy our best and strongest intentions.

Our environment and routines are largely to blame. When I was a child, my lunch bag typically contained a sandwich, a piece of fruit, and a cookie. I was into my thirties before I realized that fruit at lunch made me crave cookies. I broke the cookies-at-lunch habit simply by changing the pattern, eating the fruit first, and finishing with the sandwich, salad, or yogurt. 

Changing our own routines isn’t always easy, but at least they are within our control. If you can recognize the patterns that lead you to undesirable behaviors, like eating cookies, or prevent you from creating new habits, like exercising, you can develop new routines.

The environment is less easily controlled and provides many triggers that affect our behavior. Nonetheless, recognizing the triggers is the first step to changing how you react.

• What sounds make you think about food?
• What people or words make you defensive?
• What thoughts prevent you from taking action?
• What circumstances drive you to undesirable behaviors, whether interrupting, leaping to solutions, or smoking?

Examine the triggers and then figure out how to avoid them or develop new responses.

For example, when you hear a can of soda opened, you could reach for your water bottle and tell yourself that 15 minutes after drinking a soda you won’t know whether you drank it or not but you will sure feel better knowing you didn’t.

With any kind of behavior change, you will be smart to enlist the help of those around you. Tell them about the triggers and the desired change in your reactions. Give them permission to remind you or interrupt you if you fall back into old habits.

For example, if you have a habit of supplying solutions without first understanding the problem, you need to get in the habit of asking at least three questions before providing advice and ideas. Those around you can help you comply with your new rule.

Wishful thinking does not change our behaviors. We need to replace old routines with new routines and create new responses to the triggers around us. Start by identifying the routines and triggers that most need attention, develop new routines and reactions, and enlist help from those around you.