I followed a conversation on social media recently where women were talking about the common habit, especially among women, of ending sentences in an uptick as if they were asking a question. There have been numerous articles about how this uptick makes women seem tentative, weak, and unsure of themselves. I agree with this interpretation? You don’t sound competent and trustworthy if you sound like you need reassurance every step of the way? You simply can’t speak with authority if every statement you make sounds like a question?

This group, however, was defending the habit. They suggested the uptick was a sign of their collaborative nature. They even suggested that men would do well to follow suit.

Well, I totally disagree. Squash the habit, I say! With volume and authority!

For one thing, making statements sound like questions flies in the face of clarity. Why would you want to confuse people that way?

For another, the uptick definitely makes you sound insecure and/or wishy-washy. When you are unsure, fess up and make it clear that you are not sure. But when you are quite sure, there is no reason to sound uncertain.

As for your collaborative side — and I’m a huge fan of collaboration — I have a suggestion. Be clear! If you want to know if people agree, ask them! “Do you agree?” That’s a question. It elicits feedback. It is totally clear. And it ends in an uptick!

Don’t make excuses for bad habits. Seek clarity. If you aren’t asking a question, don’t confuse people by making it sound as if you are asking a question.