During the opening rounds of a pickleball tournament, I played with seven different partners. I’d played with some of them before. Others I’d never even met.

In order to get a lot of games in without delays, the organizers set time limits on the games. I don’t think any of us had a clue as to how long our games usually took, but we did know that the points we scored in each game would accrue to our individual tournament scores. Thus, not finishing exacted a big penalty. No one wanted to be caught down 2-8 when the bell sounded while someone on the next court walked away with 11 points for finishing the game. This combination of competition and time pressure was pretty nerve-racking.

It also provided the opportunity for me to compare the way my different partners reacted to the pressure. The best partners not only helped us win by hitting great shots and chasing down lops, they also helped me play my best by:

• Applauding my great gets, winning shots, and valiant efforts (yes, I had some of each!)
• Forgiving my mistakes (I had these too!)
• Encouraging the risks I took, even when I missed
• Expressing confidence in me
• Reminding me to relax, breathe, and take my time
• Reassuring me when I apologized for slamming the ball into the net
• Empathizing with me about the unfamiliar time pressure

I hope I reciprocated.

We were true partners, if only for one game. We were going to win or lose together and we both wanted to win. If we had been playing more than one game together, the best partners would have taken this two steps farther by offering advice and suggesting times to practice together.

What baffles me is why many bosses don’t recognize that they, their peers, and their direct reports also win or lose together. That they need all their employees doing their best if the company is going to do its best. And that the best way to do this is to be true partners providing the same level of support that good partners do on the court or playing field. Why, instead, do bosses think in terms of pressuring, coercing, punishing, or generally lording rank and power over the people that are so important to their success? Why does ‘holding people accountable’ seemingly reduce a sense of partnership, put people on the spot, and increase the us vs. them mindset that makes us forget that we win and lose together?

In this era, with its huge emphasis on accountability, we have to adopt a new mindset. The next time you think in terms of holding someone accountable, stop. Remember:

• These are valuable partners.
• You are on the same team.
• You win and lose together.
• If you are holding someone accountable, you are an accountability partner.
• To treat them like true partners and help them do their best, model yourself after my best pickleball partners.

The best teams thrive. May yours be one of them!

And, in case you are wondering, I came in 6th out of 25! Not bad, eh?

But then again, maybe I just was just lucky and got the best partners! None of us operates in a vacuum. We do our best when surrounded by others eager for us to do our best!